During this pandemic we’ve become aware of what a global crisis looks like. We’ve seen lines of sick people being turned away from hospitals and families out of work, some not knowing where their next meal will come from. Businesses are shut down while some shut their doors for good.
We’ve seen the hurt, the anger, and the sadness of others bring hurt, anger, and sadness to us all. We’ve felt it ourselves and maybe even projected our fears on to those around us. There is no one on this earth that this hasn’t touched. Our lives have been changed, and although we are all experiencing this at the same time, we aren’t experiencing it the same way.
God sees all of us as we are, yet we sometimes see ourselves in comparison to what we see on the news or what we see online. We compare what we are facing to what someone else might be facing and we know it could always be worse. So we stuff down the anxiety and we push through harder. We might numb out with whatever brings relief and we forget that God is the helper right here.
One day I woke up with terrible back pain, twisted up and aching. I showed up at work and sat miserably at my desk for 8 hours and even with Motrin in my system, I still felt like Bruce Lee had dropped kicked me off the top of a 10 foot building. My patience was short and my fuse was shorter. When I am hurting, everything seems terrible. It’s bad news bears and the dark cloud follows and remains. When the work day had come to an end, I groaned knowing my next job, mothering my two boys would begin. I buckled my seatbelt and on the way home I asked God to take the pain away. I asked again and then I stopped at a red light. The world kept spinning, but here at this stop light, this life moment paused, my soul was still.
I heard the whisper of God deep in my heart say to me, “Did you ask someone to pray for you?”
I swallowed hard. I did not.
My thoughts started to somersault. I can’t ask someone to pray for my stiff neck, that’s silly. There are people on this planet who are sick, dying, and diseased and they need healing.
Light still red, I realized I was limiting my Father. I was limiting the amount of healing to be had. I was drawing lines in the sand of who deserves healing and who does not. The conviction made me sweat.
“Who?” I asked out loud, sounding much braver than I felt.
And right then a name of a woman I know was impressed onto my heart. A hot tear rolled down my cheek which tends to happen when I feel God asking me to grow by way of making me more uncomfortable than any stiff neck and achy back could ever feel.
I picked up the phone and I started a voice message to my friend that went something like this: “Hey, it’s me. This is so weird and random, I know. But I’ve been in pain all day and I really don’t like myself when I feel like this, and I was wondering if maybe you aren’t too busy, if you could pray for the pain in my neck and my back to be taken. Sorry I’m weird and sorry if this made you feel uncomfortable too, but I asked God who should I ask to pray for me, and He whispered your name.”
The next ten minutes I drove home in silence, awkward silence. Did I really just ask my friend to pray for a stiff neck?
Right as I pulled into the driveway my phone alerted and I saw a voice message pop up from my friend. My thumb hit play and her message was a prayer of healing over my pain and over my heart. She said everything only the Holiest of Spirits would know to say. Another hot tear rolled down my cheek. With my head bowed in the car, sitting in my driveway, I felt a warmth come through my body from the top of my head, flooding down my spine, straight on through the tips of my toes and instantly the pain was gone. All the way gone. This time tears of relief and disbelief that God saw me burst from my eyes as gratitude bubbled up from a place that had been buried deep.
I won’t forget that day. I was hurting in a way that was affecting me personally and God saw that, He saw me. God saw that I needed help, but He was teaching me something very valuable. He taught me that even if He chose not to take the pain away that day, that He’s given me community that doesn’t get scared off when I ask them to pray for me. He’s taught me that He doesn’t compare my hard day to someone else’s hard day. He’s taught me that vulnerability with trusted friends deepens relationships and builds trust. But most importantly, He taught me that I don’t need to be in a crisis to ask for help.
I know that we are all facing this pandemic together, but that the way we are experiencing it varies greatly from one person to the next. I don’t know what you are walking through today, but I know Someone who does. And if you needed a friendly reminder, let it be known that you are a valued, seen, and loved child of God. He is the Helper. And He will put people on your path that can, will, and want to help. You just need to ask.
Psalm 54:4 | Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life.