How to Engage

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When Do I Engage?

“Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand.” Matthew 12:25

Jesus said these words to the Pharisees about Satan, yet it serves as a reminder for the church today. The church does not escape the reach or effects of a society that pits “us” verses “them” in every way imaginable. From how we mount our toilet paper to whom we vote for, nothing escapes our strong opinions. Interestingly enough, Paul warned Timothy about how we should conduct ourselves regarding the heated discussions we inevitably come across on social media.

“Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.” 2 Timothy 2:23-26

What is a foolish controversy? And on the flip side, what should we correct? In other words, when should we engage? Believe it or not, not every discussion in which you have a strong opinion on is worth your time or energy—a lesson I’m just now starting to grasp. When we feel strongly about something, discussions are bound to get heated and can get ugly. When we, the church, publicly disagree on social media, we are displaying to the world a house divided. So, it is of utmost importance to pick our battles and our words wisely.

“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35

Our first step in engaging a controversial conversation should be to stop and pray. This gives us time to reflect on whether we should engage. Hopefully, through our prayer, God will grant us wisdom on when or how to engage.

We tend to enter these conversations hot. In our earnestness and desire to be heard, we may forget to listen to those we disagree with. Before working on our rebuttal, we must truly listen to what the others in the conversation are saying. I should pause here to note that I am the first person who needs to hear this advice. I am quite opinionated and have always felt the need to express my opinions, even when it was not wise to do so. I am now learning to listen more to other voices while holding my tongue.

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20

When we are willing to listen to other perspectives, we may learn something—or, in the very least, we can be reminded of the inherent value that person holds as a child of God. We do not need to change our opinions in order to acknowledge others’ value. But reflecting on that value will hopefully lead us into a respectful conversation.

“Truly I understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him.” Acts 10:34b-35

After we’ve prayed and listened, in some (most) instances where engagement is necessary, it should be done privately.

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Matthew 18:15

As Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:24 (see above), we should approach controversy with the intent to teach with patience and gentleness—markers of our love for each other. We should aim to build each other up rather than tear down.

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” Ephesians 4:15-16

We need to remember Christ in these conversations. Our pride has no place here. Christ makes no distinctions based on class, race, politics, religious background, etc. For He is the one who tears down the walls between us.

“remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.” Ephesians 2:12-22

As we are different parts of the Body, we do not all have the same functions nor do we have the same perspectives. We need others’ perspectives to grow. Humans cannot be objective. We are not omniscient as God is, so what we know to be true may not be the whole picture. Our experiences shape our beliefs, and the same goes for others. They are as valid as ours. We are more likely to grow when we listen to other perspectives rather than discounting them because they don’t fully align with ours. Rather, those eternal truths (mankind’s sin and need for a savior, Jesus’ death & resurrection, our redemption/salvation through Him, our obedience as a response) should be held up as unchanging while minor truths can and should be malleable and informed.

“For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.” 1 Corinthians 13:9-10

Of course, we each have our own convictions on how we should live our lives to honor Christ. As long as they align with Scripture, we should stand firm in those convictions. But we should not judge other Christians for standing firm in their convictions (even when they oppose ours), as both are doing so to honor Christ. Mind you, this can be applied to political leaning or worship style, dress code or mission support. Sometimes it is best to keep these convictions to ourselves for the sake of our fellow believers. Our faith is between us and God, and what we choose to share should be edifying, not condemning.

“As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.

10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11 for it is written,

“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me,

    and every tongue shall confess to God.”

12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.

13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 16 So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

20 Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. 21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. 22 The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.” Romans 14

How we conduct ourselves in public (and on social media) comes down to two things:

1.     Our public witness (Is our conversation shining light on the Gospel?)

2.     Our role in the Church (Are our words being used to build up or tear down?)

We cannot control how others choose to use their voices, but we can control when and how we engage them. God’s love should guide our interactions, and we can leave the judgement up to Him.

 “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 2:13-17

(All verses shared are from the English Standard Version of the Bible with my own emphasis added.)

Finding Hope

There’s a story Corrie Ten Boom tells of God weaving together the seemingly disorganized pieces of our lives, and only at the end when you flip it over and see the finished piece can you appreciate the way God orchestrated pieces of your life. (See here for Corrie’s explanation ) Looking back, you could recognize each thread’s work that led to the masterpiece, even though at the time it looked confusing, chaotic, or maybe even painful.

For Liz Bell, an on-and-off fight against anxiety and depression since her late teens, growing up in the Church but not prioritizing her relationship with Jesus for years, only to be drawn back to Him just as a global pandemic kicked off could feel a little disorientating. What is God doing through these times? And yet, despite the hard of these situations, she can clearly see and is thankful for how God has drawn her to know Him in a deeper and truer way in the last year. Looking back, she can see how He was pulling her back to Him leading up to October 2019, when she joined her friend Kathleen for a gathering at Riverbend. Her heart already softened, she walked into the gathering and could immediately feel a presence. The music began playing and she broke down. She didn’t expect such a reaction, but thinking about it since, she feels it was the Holy Spirit impressing upon her that “you are where you need to be when you need to be there”. This was a different experience for her than when she went to church growing up; this was how a relationship with Jesus should be. It’s been a process of immersing herself in God’s Word, learning and unlearning; of releasing control, recognizing her life is not her own.  

After only a few months of rebuilding a new relationship with Jesus, attending Riverbend and connecting with people, COVID hit. But instead of being discouraged, she still feels grateful for coming when she did, because she’s thankful not to waste any time in getting to know the Lord and read the scripture she wishes she has known for longer.  She’s reflected on how challenging this season of uncertainty would be if she didn’t have the certainty of God and His love to cling to.

Like Corrie Ten Boom, as well as the apostle Paul, she can admit that a relationship with God does not keep us from trial. Since she was 18, Liz has dealt with bouts of anxiety and depression, including two bouts of post-partum depression, and even experiencing what she calls a mental fatigue or fog in recent weeks. Amidst all the discussion and decision making of the upcoming school year, her youngest not sleeping well, and general information overload, Liz could recognize something was changing. Her mom also noticed and stepped right in to help and support her. Mental illness is not one-size-fits-all, nor is any one person’s journey, but for Liz, this time felt different for her compared to the bouts she had before beginning a true relationship with the Lord. With the help of medication and prayer, she feels she has been lifted out of this slump quicker than usual. She is learning how to recognize her need for help and reach out sooner. 

One thing Liz wants to address by sharing her own story is that mental illness is not something to be ashamed of; it’s not a sin. Sometimes there is simply a chemical imbalance; medication, counseling, and other supports all have their place. Mental illness should be met with compassion and support; it is not a sign of weakness. After seeing WFMZ sports anchor, Dan Moscaritolo post about his recent struggle with depression and then being approached to share her story with her Riverbend family, she felt led to be vulnerable and share in the hopes of helping others. If sharing her own story can help one other person not feel alone, then it was worth it.

Some favorite verses of Liz’s in this season are:

Philippians 4:6-7

John 13:7

Psalm 34

[If you are experiencing anxiety or depression in this season, please reach out to someone: a family member or friend, or contact Riverbend. You are not alone. Help is available.

Click here to visit some resources available through Riverbend or locally. ]

Ask

During this pandemic we’ve become aware of what a global crisis looks like. We’ve seen lines of sick people being turned away from hospitals and families out of work, some not knowing where their next meal will come from. Businesses are shut down while some shut their doors for good.

We’ve seen the hurt, the anger, and the sadness of others bring hurt, anger, and sadness to us all. We’ve felt it ourselves and maybe even projected our fears on to those around us. There is no one on this earth that this hasn’t touched. Our lives have been changed, and although we are all experiencing this at the same time, we aren’t experiencing it the same way.

God sees all of us as we are, yet we sometimes see ourselves in comparison to what we see on the news or what we see online. We compare what we are facing to what someone else might be facing and we know it could always be worse. So we stuff down the anxiety and we push through harder. We might numb out with whatever brings relief and we forget that God is the helper right here.

One day I woke up with terrible back pain, twisted up and aching. I showed up at work and sat miserably at my desk for 8 hours and even with Motrin in my system, I still felt like Bruce Lee had dropped kicked me off the top of a 10 foot building. My patience was short and my fuse was shorter.  When I am hurting, everything seems terrible. It’s bad news bears and the dark cloud follows and remains. When the work day had come to an end, I groaned knowing my next job, mothering my two boys would begin. I buckled my seatbelt and on the way home I asked God to take the pain away. I asked again and then I stopped at a red light. The world kept spinning, but here at this stop light, this life moment paused, my soul was still.

I heard the whisper of God deep in my heart say to me, “Did you ask someone to pray for you?”

I swallowed hard. I did not.

My thoughts started to somersault. I can’t ask someone to pray for my stiff neck, that’s silly. There are people on this planet who are sick, dying, and diseased and they need healing. 

Light still red, I realized I was limiting my Father. I was limiting the amount of healing to be had. I was drawing lines in the sand of who deserves healing and who does not. The conviction made me sweat.

“Who?” I asked out loud, sounding much braver than I felt.

And right then a name of a woman I know was impressed onto my heart. A hot tear rolled down my cheek which tends to happen when I feel God asking me to grow by way of making me more uncomfortable than any stiff neck and achy back could ever feel.

I picked up the phone and I started a voice message to my friend that went something like this: “Hey, it’s me. This is so weird and random, I know. But I’ve been in pain all day and I really don’t like myself when I feel like this, and I was wondering if maybe you aren’t too busy, if you could pray for the pain in my neck and my back to be taken. Sorry I’m weird and sorry if this made you feel uncomfortable too, but I asked God who should I ask to pray for me, and He whispered your name.”

The next ten minutes I drove home in silence, awkward silence. Did I really just ask my friend to pray for a stiff neck?

Right as I pulled into the driveway my phone alerted and I saw a voice message pop up from my friend. My thumb hit play and her message was a prayer of healing over my pain and over my heart. She said everything only the Holiest of Spirits would know to say. Another hot tear rolled down my cheek. With my head bowed in the car, sitting in my driveway, I felt a warmth come through my body from the top of my head, flooding down my spine, straight on through the tips of my toes and instantly the pain was gone. All the way gone. This time tears of relief and disbelief that God saw me burst from my eyes as gratitude bubbled up from a place that had been buried deep.

                  I won’t forget that day. I was hurting in a way that was affecting me personally and God saw that, He saw me. God saw that I needed help, but He was teaching me something very valuable. He taught me that even if He chose not to take the pain away that day, that He’s given me community that doesn’t get scared off when I ask them to pray for me. He’s taught me that He doesn’t compare my hard day to someone else’s hard day. He’s taught me that vulnerability with trusted friends deepens relationships and builds trust. But most importantly, He taught me that I don’t need to be in a crisis to ask for help.

                  I know that we are all facing this pandemic together, but that the way we are experiencing it varies greatly from one person to the next. I don’t know what you are walking through today, but I know Someone who does. And if you needed a friendly reminder, let it be known that you are a valued, seen, and loved child of God. He is the Helper. And He will put people on your path that can, will, and want to help. You just need to ask.

Psalm 54:4 | Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life.

True Freedom is Found in Dependence

This time of year, we celebrate the liberty and freedom that we often take for granted as Americans.  We gather together for picnics, fireworks, and tributes for those who have laid down their lives so that we might enjoy life in the United States.  Yet even in the land of the free, many struggle with depression, anxiety, and isolation.  Still others are overwhelmed by the demands and burdens of their lives.  We find ourselves held captive by the illusion that we are self -made.  Our attempts to find freedom in our isolation leave us feeling frustrated, discouraged, and overwhelmed.  We don’t find true freedom until we fully recognize that what we are pursuing is not found in ourselves.  It is found in a dependence on Christ, and on one another.  

Rugged individualism is one of the strengths and weaknesses of our nation.  There is a strong belief that we make ourselves by our hard work and positive choices.  While there is some truth to that principle, we still fall far short of the eternal freedom that we find in Christ.  Jesus said that when we follow him and obey his teachings we are like a wise man who built his house upon a rock. When the ferocious waves of trials, struggles, and hardship beat against the house it was able to withstand it.  Yet when we do not follow Jesus and his teachings, we are like a foolish man who built his house upon the sand.  When the waves of life’s difficulties beat against it. It suffered a mighty, mighty, crash (Matthew 7:24-27).   Jesus also taught us that who he, as the son of God, sets free by his death, burial, and resurrection is truly free (John 8:36).  This freedom we find in Christ invites us to share our difficulties, frustrations, and hardships with our heavenly Father.  We do not have to carry the challenges and burdens of our lives on our own.  Jesus promises to give lasting rest to all who are weary and heavy laden. (Matthew 11:28-30).

So that we can live in the full freedom and liberty we find in Jesus’ death and resurrection he commands us to love each other the way that he has loved us (John 13:34-35).  This means to sacrifice ourselves in all of our relationships.  Our sacrifices can come in a variety of ways.  From listening to serving, prayer and words of encouragement we can connect to one another.  We’re also carrying each other’s burdens and fulfilling the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).  This brings us closer together. We are refreshed when we share our burdens and when we carry the burdens of others.  Jesus promised that this world would know that we are his followers by the way we love each other (John 13:35).  

By living in dependence on Christ and loving one another we will find true and lasting freedom.  This freedom far exceeds any we could obtain in our strength and circumstances.  Let’s never forget that Jesus came so that we could have life and have it to the full (John 10:10).

Building a Bigger Neighborhood

If you polled the people at Riverbend who know my little family of four and asked them to pick one word they would associate with us, I can guarantee the large majority of those answers would be the word garbage. There is no other way to say it than that my 5 year old son is obsessed with any and all things garbage, and as odd as it may sound, it is what we as a family have allowed to become a “big deal”. 

To fill in a bit why this fact is important, I’ll share a little bit more about my family. My husband Brian and I have been married almost 7 years and have two sons, Owen (5) and Ellis (2). Prior to entering “retirement” when Owen was born, I was the children’s librarian at the Lower Macungie Library and served as a volunteer in our church’s youth ministry. When Owen was born, and those two roles came to an end as I had previously known them, I found myself struggling with how God would have me serve in this new season. After a couple of weeks of praying and talking with Brian, the simple way I felt God lead me was to be in my community. 

Well, that sounds kind of obvious, but as a “people person introvert”, joining a group or walking up to a stranger anywhere is not at the top of my list of fun activities. Yet as I continued to pray and think through how this could look lived out in my family’s life, I began to see places where I could naturally build relationships. The workers at our local grocery store who we saw every week. Neighbors who we normally just waved to on our walks and kept going. The vendors at the Easton Public Market that we visited as a family every Friday night. These are not people we see as “projects” but people we want to get to know and be known by. And we wanted to become more intentional about it. 

Back to garbage. Two years ago, an idea kept popping into mind to have my garbage truck loving preschooler make a picture for the garbage and recycling men he loved to watch from our window each week. For a good month, I pushed the thought down every time because I thought they would think I was crazy. Just a month before we were set to move, I finally followed through on the idea, with some chocolate chip cookies for good measure, and we left our gifts on the cans. So began our friendship with Mr. LeRon, and even though we moved, we still occasionally exchange notes with him through the new owners. Next there was Mr. Matt, who came to pick up the trash at our new house. Soon after we got to know Mr. Matt, we found out that our garbage company was selling their business to another company and we would have all new garbage people. We’ve since gotten to know Mr. Brooks and Mr. Joaquin, Miss Peggy and Mr. Eli, Mr. Andrew, Mr. Torres, and a handful of other garbage people as we make our weekly visits. Owen decides every week what goodies they will get… pictures, treats, drinks. Garbage day has become a weekly special event in our home. Before kids, I never would have imagined I would embrace learning about and playing imaginary garbage routes, but I have. 

Reaching into the community hasn’t always been as easy as taking the boys outside on garbage day. Brian was recently diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. This brought an unexpected hospitalization in December, regular maintenance visits to his GI for medication infusions, a resection surgery that was scheduled just as COVID was beginning, canceled, and then recently performed. We decided early on that his medical team would be an extension of our “neighborhood”. These acts aren’t any great thing on our parts, but we hope to reflect the love we have for Jesus and our desire to love on and encourage the people we rub elbows with in the course of life.

I love that in being purposeful about building relationships in our community, our sons are learning from childhood that they can use the things that excite them and the gifts they have to love their neighbors. This is something that took me into adulthood to truly get, but it’s just a part of our normal life for them. It’s caused me to step outside of my comfort zone and expand my view of who our “neighbors” are. When we began to live missionally within our community, our goal was to teach our sons. In reality, this way of living has taught us

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.”

Psalm 37:3 

The Sovereignty of God: Believing God is in control during a global pandemic

Memory Verse: 

2 Corinthians 4:17-18a (ESV) 

“For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen.” 

Song:

Beautiful Eulogy, Sovereign 

Doctrine: The Sovereignty of God

When I was a new Christian, an argument that some friends brought to me against God shook the foundations of my faith. It went something like, “because there is all this suffering and evil in the world, God either isn’t good, or He isn’t God.” Putting the argument another way- the fact that there is suffering and evil means that if there is a “God”: 

  • He is willing to prevent it, but not able, so He’s not all-powerful over creation.

  • He is able to prevent it, but not willing, so He’s malevolent (or at least uncaring) towards His creation. 

This isn’t a new argument at all. No, this was something that pre-dates even Jesus’ life on earth, and is often referred to as the problem of evil and suffering. And it’s an argument we’ve probably all summed up in this way before: “Why God, why?” 

I expect that phrase has crossed the mind of most people living through these times of physical, financial, social, and emotional suffering induced by the Covid19 pandemic. Christians are now confronted with this problem on a more consistent and wide-spread scale than we are used to. Holding onto a faith that professes God is all-powerful and completely good may seem comforting at first, but then the thought creeps in: 

God is able to stop all of this, or even prevent it from happening in the first place, but He has so far allowed it. 

It makes us recoil. But what other choice do we have, if we still want to cling to Him? 

It is a fitting time for Riverbend to be going through 2 Corinthians as a church. In this letter, Paul is writing to a suffering people who believe that he has suffered too much to really be a proper messenger for God. He’s certainly not the one they want to help them out of their troubles. The Corinthian people answer their “Why God, why?” question about suffering with “because you weren’t good enough, and you deserve this”. It’s not the right answer. Throughout the letter, Paul answers the question in a way that beautifully preserves both God’s “sovereignty”, His complete control over creation, and His complete goodness: God uses suffering for good.

No, it’s not the most heartwarming thought at first. But it is consistent throughout all of Scripture, from the Old Testament to the New. And in 2 Corinthians, Paul hammers the point home: 

  • “as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too” (1:5)

  • “we felt we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (1:9)

  • “we are afflicted in every way… always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies”(4:9-10)

  • “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (12:10)

Notice anything about those verses? Jesus is referenced as Paul’s hope through suffering in each one. That’s because God’s sovereignty through suffering is most on display in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. Here we find answers to the “problem” of pain and suffering:

  • Is God willing to end our suffering? Yes! He entered into it, experiencing the suffering Himself so that we may one day live in freedom from it. 

  • Is God able to stop our suffering? Yes! He has power over suffering even to the point of making death itself come undone. 

In his book Coronavirus and Christ, John Piper comments about our current times and the challenges we may be facing when thinking about God in this way: 

“The same sovereignty that could stop the coronavirus, yet doesn’t, is the very sovereignty that sustains the soul in it.” 

We don’t know how God is using this suffering. But the cross reminds us that He has not abandoned us in it, and the empty grave shows us that He has complete control over it.

I wanted to end with a page from the children’s book that Ellie Holcomb wrote called Don’t Forget to Remember. I could have spared you all my words and just shared this page, as it captures the sovereignty of God with such simplicity and relevancy for our situation today:  

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"Love Each Other"

Did you know that all of the commandments in the Bible can be summarized into just two commands?  That’s right, all of His commandments for our lives can fit under one of the two greatest commands.  In Matthew 22, Jesus answers the question, “Which is the greatest commandment?”.  In verse 37, Jesus answers, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind”.  He does not stop there though, he says this is the first and greatest commandment and that the second is this, in verse 39, “Love your neighbor as yourself”.  

So, we are to love God and love others, but to do this in our own power, consistently, will not happen.  We are human.  We get frustrated, people annoy us, we hold grudges, and speak unkind words, even to those we say we love.  So, where does the source of this love come from?  In I John 7:7, the Bible says that we are to love one another and that this love comes from God, and in verse 11, “Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another”.  In fact, this is so important to God that He says, “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar...Whoever loves God must also love his brother” (v 20-21).  We need to remain in God’s love so that we have love to pour out to others.

I have been very discouraged lately, in some of our society’s lack of love for one another.  We need God.  We need His love in our lives, in the lives of our friends, family, neighbors, and communities.  There have been so many acts of injustice, racism, and pure evil.  In Titus 3:3-5 it says, “We lived in malice, envy, being hated and hating one another, but when the kindness of our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy”.  He alone is the  source of our consistent love.  We can love because He loved us first.  We need to experience His love, to be able to appropriately and consistently pour out love to others.  

So what can we do when we get discouraged hearing of all the hatred in the world today?  First, we can pray.  Pray that God’s love would pour out on His people.  Pray for people’s hearts to be open to hear God’s words and that they would turn towards Him.  Second, we can love.  We can show love to those around us.  We can be slow to anger and quick to forgive.  Remember, we don’t love others because they necessarily deserve it, but because God loves us and commands us to love each other.  Each one of us is God’s child, created in His image.  Let’s try to be patient with one another and to love well.  Lastly, we can spread the good news.  It’s times like these that people are searching for more; searching for hope.  We have that hope!  We know that it is not supposed to be like this.  Listen to others, meet them where they are, and introduce them to your source of hope and love.  They need it so badly.  We can bring love to the world by introducing the world to the true source of love, God.

"Another Look at the Prodigal Son"

Luke 15:11-32 English Standard Version (ESV)

The Parable of the Prodigal Son

11 And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. 13 Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. 14 And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to[a] one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.

17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ 20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’[b22 But the father said to his servants,[c] ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.

25 “Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29 but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ 31 And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’”

This is perhaps Jesus’ most famous parable.  If you grew up in the church, you’ve probably heard it since Sunday school.  If you became a follower of Christ later in life it probably really struck a chord within you the first time you heard it.  It is a beautiful story of redemption of the lost, and yet also a cautious warning to those who try to work our way to acceptance with God.  If you’ve never read “The Prodigal God” by Timothy Keller, I highly recommend it.  It forever changed the way that I viewed the parable.  My intent is not to rehash his work, but to hopefully provide more insight or a slightly different perspective.  For the lack of a better metaphor, the beauty of Jesus’ parables is that they are similar to an onion.  The more you peel it the more layers you find.

Please bear with me.  It’s going to take a moment to build up a base of foundational knowledge that can then be used to apply to this parable.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a famous theologian that grew up in Germany.  He is known not just for his pastoral strengths or his theological views but also for the radical way he lived out his faith.  Due to the role he played in trying to subvert the Third Reich, he was martyred several weeks before the conclusion of World War II in a Nazi concentration camp.   He had been a willing participant in a plot to assassinate Hitler.  One of his most famous works is “Nachfolge.”  In English, Nachfolge means discipleship.  The book has been translated into English and is frequently referred to as “The Cost of Discipleship.”  It is in this work that he posits the concept of “cheap grace” and “costly grace.”  With these concepts, I want to take another look at this famous parable.  I can take no credit for the concepts, but hope that by seeing them applied we might garner a new appreciation to God’s free, yet costly, gift of grace.    

Let’s start by looking at how we should define “cheap grace.”  Bonhoeffer describes it this way, “Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, communion without confession, absolution without personal confession.  Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.”  To put it another way, cheap grace is akin to saying, “God has forgiven all of my sin, therefore, I can go and live my life how I want.”  God’s forgiveness has become, for lack of a better phrase, a get out of jail free card.  We only concern ourselves with it when it comes to matters of life and death.

What then is costly grace?  It is the polar opposite of cheap grace.  Bonhoeffer puts it this way,

Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has.  It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods.  It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble; it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him.  Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock.  Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life.  It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner.  Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son: “ye were bought at a price,” and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us.

Consider the words Jesus uses in Matthew 16:24-26, “Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”  Or his words in Luke 14:26-33:

26 If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. 28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31 Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33 So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.

Talk of denying oneself, taking up a cross, hating your own life, and renouncing all that one possesses appears to be a far cry from the “believe in me and go about your own business” that is the readily accepted gospel of our times.  It’s comfortable to accept because it costs us nothing. 

It’s easy to be taken aback and say, “But God’s forgiveness and eternal life is a free gift.  If we attach any strings to it, by definition it is no longer free.”  What about Romans 6:23 where Paul says, “…but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”?  Paul doesn’t mention a cost to God’s grace.  

We have become accustomed to evangelizing with half of the equation while leaving out the rest.  Said another way, we hold out the reward while hiding the fine print.  A 2019 poll by Pew Research found that 65% of Americans identify themselves as Christian.  Another poll found that only 23% of Americans attend church weekly.  There appears to be a substantial disconnect, especially considering that attending church on a weekly basis does not make someone a Christian.  So, let’s back up a little in Paul’s teaching and examine how he comes to the “free gift of God is eternal life”, maybe there is a cost involved.  

Starting in Romans chapter 5 verse 8, “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  This is God’s free gift of grace to mankind.  He owed his creation nothing, but he chose to have Christ die for us while we were still sinners.  Following human logic, since it’s a free gift shouldn’t we be able to live our life as we please?  Free gifts have no strings attached.  Simply put, no.  Throughout Romans chapter 6 Paul is trying to refute the idea that we can continue life as usual when we choose to accept Christ’s forgiveness.  The first argument in 6:1-2 addresses this very scenario, “…Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound?  By no means!  How can we who died to sin still live in it?”  We cannot justify sinful behavior by reasoning that it will make God’s gift greater.  In other words, you can’t purposefully sin big to get a bigger gift.  There is no way around it, you cannot accept the gift of forgiveness of sins by then turning around and continuing in sin. He summarizes this stance in 5:10-12, “For the death he (Christ) died he (Christ) died to sin, once for all, but the life he (Christ) lives he (Christ) lives to God.  So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.  Let not sin reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.”  To put his argument another way, Christ died to sin-for all-so that-all-can live for God.

We naturally revolt at this concept because we’ve always been taught that we cannot “work” towards our forgiveness.  Our thoughts flow something like this, “We’re not under the Old Testament law, grace is free, I shouldn’t have to worry about my sin because it is forgiven.”  Paul resists this argument in 6:15-16.  “What then?  Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace?  By no means!  Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?”  Paul is all too familiar with the human condition.  We were created to have a relationship and to serve God as his image bearer in creation.  With the fall of man, we tried to become autonomous, but the reality is that sin has become our master.  Jesus himself said something very similar in Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.  You cannot serve God and money.”  In this particular instance, Jesus is specifically dealing with the sin of loving money, but the premise stands for all sin, we cannot serve two masters.  

Paul continues in 6:22, “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.”  Being a slave sounds horrible.  The imagery it paints in our minds is not pretty.  Paul apologized for using this slavery imagery several verses before, but insists on using human terms “because of your natural limitations.”  The Greek word used for slave here is “doulos.”  Thayer’s Greek Lexicon defines it as “one who gives himself up wholly to another’s will.”  We are not God’s slaves to do hard labor and be mistreated, rather we are giving up our autonomy and recognizing our rightful place as image bearer to the Creator.         

Paul has slowly built up his argument leading to one of his most well know writings, Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Make sure you see this, when sin is our master it will pay us wages for our “work.”  Our wage for continuing to serve sin is death.  If we change our master to God, he will give us the free gift of God, eternal life.  John Piper puts it very elegantly, 

What's the difference between a wage and a gift? A wage is something you earn. A gift is something you don't earn, and can't earn. A wage is a matter of debt and justice. A free gift is a matter of beneficence and grace. You can take somebody to court for not paying you your wages; but you can't take anyone to court for not giving you a free gift. You deserve your wages. You don't deserve a free gift. Otherwise it wouldn't be free. (https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/the-free-gift-of-god-is-eternal-life)

To quickly summarize, God’s gift of grace leading to eternal life is free, without strings, to those that have chosen to serve him.  It does not come from simply believing that Jesus died for our sins and then moving on with your life.  There must be an element of discipleship, of giving oneself wholly to God’s will.  It first came at a cost to God, the life of his Son, but it also comes at a cost to us.  The cost to us is that we can no longer serve our master of self, but must serve God.  It must be reemphasized, because it is easy to veer off course, but our service to God does not mean we must complete good works to be saved.  Our service to God is our submission to following his will.  Through this submission we will find ourselves completing good works, but the good works were prepared by God.  Paul says in Ephesians 2:8-10, 

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.  

Grace and eternal life are free gifts, but you must take those gifts.  You take those gifts by becoming a disciple of Jesus.

  Think about it this way, Jesus did not command his disciples to go and make believers out of the world, but to “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20).  If we choose to leave this concept out, we cheapen the gift.  The result is what Dietrich Bonhoeffer has tried to warn us about, cheap grace. 

So, what now?  How does this apply to the prodigal son?  Let’s dig in.

The parable of the prodigal son is told by Jesus while tax collectors and sinners were drawing near to him.  It is spoken and pointed towards the Pharisees and the scribes who were grumbling about him receiving and befriending “sinners.”  Immediately before this parable, he speaks two other parables with similar meanings before driving the point home with the third.  The first is the highly recognized parable of the lost sheep.  A shepherd has one hundred sheep.  One wanders away.  The shepherd leaves the ninety-nine to find the one and then holds a party to rejoice.  The second is very similar to the first, a woman has ten coins but loses one.  She seeks diligently until finding it and then rejoices with friends and neighbors upon finding it.  The common theme between both is something was lost, which had great value, and then found.  The owner that goes through great pains to seek that something, and then much rejoicing upon finding that which was lost.  They seem straight forward, easy to understand.  Jesus obviously cares for the “lost”.  From this point he jumps into the story that we know of as the prodigal son.

Let’s begin by examining the “who” of the story.  There are three main characters, a father and his two sons.  The father we can equate to God.  To identify the two sons we should examine Jesus’ audience for a clue.  He had two types of people gathered around him, sinners and religious leaders.  The sinners were “new” to religious teachings and should be considered the younger “reckless” son, while the religious leaders were well established in the trenches of religion and can be considered as the older “faithful” brother.

As the story unfolds, the younger son approaches his father and demands his cut of the inheritance (“Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me”).  As a brief aside, inheritances were not split equally amongst children in those days.  The oldest, whom we haven’t met yet, would receive a double portion of what the younger would receive.  By demanding his portion of the inheritance, it was as if the youngest was going to the father saying, “I wish you were dead.  Give me what is mine so I can go live my life as I choose.”  He knew the answer he sought (his portion of the inheritance, which would rightfully be his someday) but had computed it wrong (I deserve everything from you and you deserve nothing from me). Where did he make his mistake?  He left his father out of the calculation.  He was looking for cheap grace.  Get out the way, give me my get out of jail free card, so I can live my life the way that I want.  I don’t want to serve you.  

The father could have thrown the youngest son out of the family and removed any portion of the inheritance from him, but instead the father agreed to divide the inheritance between them.  It is interesting to note that the Greek word used for the property that the father divided between his sons was “bios.”  Bios means life.  The father divided up quite literally “that which sustained his life.”  The father gave up his livelihood to his sons who at this point deserved nothing.  

The youngest took his portion into a far country and squandered it.  This is where the story receives its recognizable title “prodigal son.”  Prodigal means “spending money or resources freely and recklessly” (Oxford dictionary).  He spent everything.  This is very similar to the idea that Paul presented in Romans.  If I am covered under God’s grace, why shouldn’t I be able to do with it as I wish so that “grace may abound?”  The youngest got it wrong.  It was never truly his to use in the first place.  He misused his father’s grace filled gift.  He had become a slave to the gift versus a son to his father.  He sought cheap grace that cost him nothing, but it ended up costing him everything.  Soon he was “longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.”  The master he ended up serving was paying him his wages, death.

In his despair he thought back on his father’s house and realized, “How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger!  I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son.  Treat me as one of your hired servants.’”  His practiced speech consisted of three parts.  First, he will ask for repentance, “Father, I have sinned...”  Secondly, he realizes that his sin has broken their rightful relationship, “I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”  Lastly, he doesn’t seek reinstatement of their relationship, but rather the lowest place within his household, “Treat me as one of your hired servants.”   He wants to live a life of service to his father.  

Fortunately for the son, he realized he could no longer go on in life without his father’s intervention before he faced certain death.  He had reached the end of himself and decided to go back to his father and ask for forgiveness in his depleted state.  Ironically, his outward and physical appearance at this point mirrored his spiritual and emotional appearance at the beginning of the story.  He made no attempt to hide his condition.  He went back to his father as he was.  

Quite famously, the father sees him while he is still a long way off and “ran and embraced him and kissed him.”  The son begins his rehearsed apology and the father, without second thought, cut him off and has the best robe (that would have been the father’s robe) placed on him and clothed him as his son.  He spared no expense and threw a celebration for his lost son who had returned.  The son, who deserved disgrace and to be put out forever from his family, was restored to his place.  He would recognize that the grace had become costly.  The father was not seeking the cost he was owed, but instead he forgave his son’s insurmountable debt.  The forgiveness and restoration were a free gift, but the son also had to bear a cost. He gave up the life he thought he wanted, and had to return to live under his father.  In exchange, his father gave him the gift of a restored relationship.  

That’s just part of the story.  We still have another character to introduce, the older brother.  The older brother was supposedly faithful to his father throughout all of his brother’s indiscretions.  He stayed behind and diligently worked.  Upon hearing music and dancing, he inquired of a servant what the occasion was, only to be taken aback to hear that his younger brother had returned.  Why was his father celebrating the son who wished of his death and had wasted his father’s “bios” on prostitutes?  He was not only celebrating that son, but welcoming him back as one who had never left; one who again had full rights of a son.  He was furious.  Not just at his brother, but also at his father.  He wouldn’t dare celebrate.  He wouldn’t dare be in the same location as the celebration. He saw costly grace and was appalled.  By restoring the youngest son, the father was effectively lessoning the older son’s portion of the inheritance.  

The father came out and entreated him, or asked him earnestly, to come.  Instead of joining in on the celebration we get to see the state of his heart.  He starts his reply with “Look” or “But” in some translations.  What’s interesting about this word in Greek is that it is only used to start a sentence when it is opposed to the preceding statement.  So, we know without a doubt, the oldest brother was fully opposed to his father’s earnest request to join in the celebration.  Why was he opposed?  “I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends.”  Timothy Keller best describes the heart of the older brother,

What did the older son most want?  If we think about it we realize that he wanted the same thing as his brother.  He was just as resentful of the father as was the younger son.  He, too, wanted the father’s goods rather than the father himself.  However, while the younger brother went far away, the elder brother stayed close and “never disobeyed.”  That was his way to get control.  His unspoken demand is, “I have never disobeyed you!  Now you have to do things in my life the way I want them to be done.”

The older brother, just like his younger brother, was looking for cheap grace.  They both wanted the same thing, but were on opposite sides of the spectrum.  One sought joy through freedom from authority and the other sought joy in bondage to appearance and influence.  He knew the answer he sought (his portion of the inheritance, which was double what his younger brother would receive, and would rightfully be his someday) but had computed it wrong (I deserve everything from you because I have worked hard for you).  Where did he make his mistake?  He left his father out of the calculation.  He wanted his piece of the pie, and assumed he had earned that right because of his service and obedience.  His younger brother sought life without the father, while he sought life above his father.  He was willing to throw away their relationship because he felt he had not received his recognition and due.  A life solely devoted to working for your salvation leads to the same place as a life solely devoted to seeking your own pleasure.   When we make ourselves the master, we will always reap the wages of our sin, death.   

Once again, the focus goes back to the father.  Just as when the youngest son shockingly asked for his portion of the inheritance, the father has every right to lash out at the oldest brother’s self-righteous rant.  What right does the oldest brother have in telling the father what to do with his possessions?  Instead of a tongue lashing, he responds in grace filled love, “Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.  It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.”  Just as the father extended a gift to the youngest wayward son, the father extends a gift to the oldest wayward son, “all that is mine is yours.”  The father is still extending his gift at great cost to himself.  In a patriarchal society, where the father was ruler over his domain, he risked looking like a fool and bringing shame upon himself.  He had every right to withhold, but bore that cost for the sake of his sons.  

The curious thing about the climax to this story is that we don’t know the end.  Jesus ended the story by saying, “It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.”  Did the older brother realize his own sin against his father and join in the celebration?  Do you remember who the audience of the story was?  We had the sinners whom Jesus had befriended and also the religious leaders.  Jesus left the ending to the audience.  The sinners had “returned home” with their relationship with Jesus, but the religious leaders were left to choose their own fate.  He doesn’t condemn them to death, like he has the right, but offers a grace filled gift.  They can choose their ending.   

No matter how hard we try, we cannot separate the gift of grace from the giver of the grace.  Try as we might we will end up in one of two camps.  Dead from our slavery in trying to please ourselves, or dead from our slavery in trying to earn grace.  Bonhoeffer sums this up best,

If grace is God’s answer, the gift of Christian life, then we cannot for a moment dispense with following Christ.  But if grace is the data for my Christian life, it means that I set out to live the Christian life in the world with all my sins justified beforehand.  I can go and sin as much as I like, and rely on this grace to forgive me, for after all the world is justified in principle by grace.  I can therefore cling to my bourgeois secular existence, and remain as I was before, but with the added assurance that the grace of God will cover me.  It is under the influence of this kind of “grace” that the world has been made “Christian,” but at the cost of secularizing the Christian religion as never before….The Christian life comes to mean nothing more than living in the world and as the world, in being no different from the world for the sake of grace.  The upshot of it all is that my only duty as a Christian is to leave the world for an hour or so on a Sunday morning and go to church to be assured that my sins are all forgiven.  I need no longer try to follow Christ, for cheap grace, the bitterest foe of discipleship, which true discipleship must loathe and detest, has freed me from that.

I pray that we may not stand in judgement of either the youngest or the eldest brother, but rather that we might heed the warning of both.  God’s grace is not cheap.  It comes at a cost.  The weightier cost was paid by God, but we cannot receive his grace without first giving over our life to discipleship.  The reality was shown to both brothers, we cannot have eternal joy apart from our Father.